Worthy of Worship.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...You're everything.

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?

These words come from a song by Lifehouse called Everything. God put them on my heart as I walked out of church this morning. Today is Resurrection Sunday. The day we celebrate Jesus who came to die on a cross, bearing the weight of all our sin. Who was dead for 3 days but rose again on that third day. JESUS IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He conquered sin & death. This is reason to celebrate but as I sat in church this morning I didn't see much celebration.

 

I realize that worship looks different for different people. Some people shout, others clap, some dance, others raise their hands, some kneel, others fall face down before the King. Regardless of the method used, Jesus is worthy of worship. We sing a hymn that says those very words. "Worthy of worship, worthy of praise, worthy of honor, and glory.  Worthy of all the glad songs we can sing. Worthy of all of the offerings we bring."  

 

We stood as a congregation and sang songs about Jesus being ALIVE and about how we are alive all because of Him.  "Because He lives I can face tomorrow, because He lives all fear is gone, because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living just because He lives!" Many people stood in their pews like statues, and I will be the first to admit that I have done the same thing countless times. We seem to just go through the motions. Sing the song, pray the prayer, half listen to the sermon, go home, repeat next week. But that's not what our KING is worthy of. He is worthy of worship, not the half-hearted junk that we give him every Sunday. We were told we could be seated and everyone sat down. Tyler began to sing Glorious Day. As we sang the words,

Living He loved me, dying He saved me, buried He carried my sins far away, rising He justified freely forever, one day He's coming oh Glorious Day! 

I could not stay seated in my seat! JESUS IS ALIVE!! He saved ME! That is HUGE!!! I stood up to worship my King and raised my hands in worship. I will be totally honest and say that I almost didn't because I was worried about what people would think. People don't raise their hands or just stand up in the middle of worship at my church but today I did. I am pretty sure I was alone in it but I  needed to worship and give my Father the glory and honor that HE alone is due. It breaks my heart that we don't give Christ the worship He is so very worthy of. It also makes me wonder what these people will do in Heaven because I am pretty sure there won't be pews to sit in. Crossed arms and expressionless faces won't do! We will have a King to worship. I believe this life is practice for the next so I am going to worship my Jesus now! 

After church was over this morning a lady hugged me and thanked me for being bold. I don't think I am anywhere close to being bold. I have so much work to do. I need to speak out about the Gospel so much more. But I have always heard that if we don't take a stand in the church we will never take a stand in the world. After church tonight a man pulled me aside and told me to never be ashamed to stand up and raise my hands and worship in freedom. He said it meant so much to so many people and that it shows what is going on inside of me. 

It is far easier for me to stand and raise my hands and get excited when everyone else is doing it. I love being in worship services where people are worshiping with reckless abandon. But I think God was using today to remind me that there will times when I will have to stand alone but that doesn't matter because HE IS WORTHY! and He is always with me!

I am praying for the Church to not be afraid of what others think and to just worship Jesus for who He is. Let us not hold back from giving Him our all! Matt Maher sings a song called Christ is Risen that has been in my head all day.  

1 Timothy 2:8 - In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy.

Galatians 2:20-21 - My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me. I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For is keeping the law could make us right with God then there was no need for Christ to die.

 

Jesus in your pocket.

I have spent the past 6 days at Pickles Gap Baptist Church. Last weekend I led a junior girl's small group for their Disciple Now Weekend and this week I have attended their revival services. God showed up and reminded us that He can do significant things in insignificant places. I am so convicted and refreshed after this week. Doug Compton did an excellent job of preaching the Gospel. He got in our business and didn't sugar coat anything. I was so challenged to do hard things. I want to share things that God taught me this week so that they may be used in someone else's life. 

Night 1

• We carry Jesus around in our pocket and only pull Him out when we need Him.
• Would there be enough evidence to convict you as a Christian at your school or home or workplace?
• Jesus is not the man upstairs or someone you can carry around in your pocket. He is the King of Kings & Lord of Lords!
• John 21
• When God tells you do something, He will give you the power and strength to do it!
• It doesn't matter what everyone else does! Don't worry about anyone except Christ!
• Revelation 1:17 - When I saw Him, I fell at His feet as if I were dead.
• Quit treating Christ like He's not on the throne. 
• You don't have a sin problem. You have an honor problem.
• Psalm 110 - The Lord said to my Lord, "Sit in the place of honor at my right hand until I humble your enemies, making them a footstool under your feet." The Lord will extend your powerful kingdom from Jerusalem; you will rule over your enemies. When you go to war, your people will serve you willingly. You are arrayed in holy garments, and your strength will be renewed each day like the morning dew. The Lord has taken an oath and will not break his vow; "You are a priest forever in the order of Melchizedek." The Lord stands at your right hand to protect you. He will strike down many kings when his anger erupts. He will punish the nations and fill their lands with corpses; he will shatter heads over the whole earth. But he himself will be refreshed from brooks along the way. He will be victorious.
• He will be victorious!
• Satan HATES your guts!
• Worship is an overflow of the heart.

waiting here for You.

we come with expectation, waiting here for You

Sunday I had a conversation that has stuck with me all week. I can't get it out of my head. I was telling Amy about a Disciple Now I am getting to be a part of this weekend. I talked about how excited I was for all the BIG things God was going to do, about how I was preparing and praying and ready to bring my A-game. Then she said this...

What if we prayed and brought our A-game on any given Sunday? God wants to show up for us in every service in the same way He shows up for the BIG events, but we don't come with great expectation.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I really prayed hard for a Sunday service or a Wednesday night. Sometimes I will say a little prayer on my way to church or as I am walking in the sanctuary but even that is quite rare. I definitely don't bring my A-game every time. 

But for church camps, revivals, DNOWs, etc. I am praying weeks in advance. I am expecting God to move mountains. I come to the event knowing God is going to be there and that people will respond to Him. Why don't I do this on any given Sunday? Why am I not confident that God will move in a regular church service?

This has been on my heart all week, convicting me. Amy also said, things would be very different if we prayed and prepared for every church service/event we are a part of. I want to come with expectation, waiting here for You regardless of the event, venue, or number of attendees. Lord, help me.

second chance.

today is my 2nd spiritual birthday! I wrote this note two years ago to share my story and I wanted to share it with you today:

April 4, 2009 changed my life forever. I had deceived everyone, my friends, my church, my family, even myself. My dad has been in the ministry my whole life and every time church was open I was there. When I was seven I prayed a prayer with my mom in my bedroom using the salvation bracelet and my dad baptized me at our church. I didn't really remember much of a change but I was young and hadn't really committed any "big" sins so I didn't let that bother me. At the age of 9 I had serious doubts as I read the Left Behind series. I hadn't really studied Revelations before that time and I was so terrified. There were months that I would cry myself to sleep saying the sinner's prayer over and over and over in my head. Finally, I went to my parents and they reminded me of my "decision" from when I was 7. Since they believed I was saved then I decided I should do. So the doubts disappeared for a while. A few years later at Springlake Summer Camp the pastor talked about doubts and mine revisited me. Since then I've struggled with doubts but not daily so I justified it by saying that all Christians have doubts and when I was 7 I had an experience. My doubts always seemed to come when I was trying to go to bed or during the invitation so I prayed the prayer countless times but I never really meant it, until now. I know that God has spoken to me and I have been a leader and a "good" Christian my whole life. I used all of that to force myself into believing that I was a real Christian. The hardest part for me was making my decision public. EVERYONE believed I was a Christian. What would their reaction be to find out that I wasn't? Last night at DNOW as soon as the speaker got on stage I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing, and I was shaking. I knew I needed peace. Friday night Pastor Dave said Knowing is not Believing and Delayed obedience is disobedience. When the invitation started last night I began to pray and I asked God to show me what to do. About that time my college leader, Casey, put her hand on my shoulder and I knew what I had to do. I went and prayed with Casey. I am so glad God sent her this weekend. I think that was what it took for me. I needed someone I didn't know so that I wouldn't let pride get in the way. I am so afraid of what other people think of me. When we sat down Casey said you know the story right? And she was right. I know the story better than most people I've heard it my whole life. I can quote scripture and I've learned how to live like Jesus. But I'd never given my whole heart to Him. Casey and I prayed and Jesus now lives in me. God gave me peace like a river in my soul, the doubts are gone and I don't have to wonder anymore. After the service I had the privilege of telling my friends they were shocked to say the least but I felt more loved in that moment than I have in a long time. When we got back to our host home I had the privilege of getting to pray with my best friend, Erin Larsen, and watch her come to Christ as well. We were able to talk to each other and understand because we both "believed" we were saved and we had lived our lives in that way. We were faithful to our church but we weren't yet Christians. I am so thankful that God allowed us to have the same spiritual birthday!! This morning at church we got to walk the aisle together =) along with our friend Kayla who is being obedient and getting baptized! Thank you Jesus for saving me and thank you for giving me the courage to let go of my pride and follow you. I am sorry for just going through the motions. But thank you thank you thank you for giving me a second chance. I love you Lord!!

God has been teaching me so much through the past two years! Every day I get to encounter Him! Life has not been super easy but I have not had to walk alone and it has all been so very worth it!! I love having a relationship with Him! 

**If you read this and don't know Jesus personally I would love to talk to you! Send me an e-mail at haleybeth_09@yahoo.com

home is where the heart is.

20 years. 2 states. 6 cities. 7 houses. 

In my 20 years of life I have not had a constant home. I won't ever be able to say that is the  house that built me. I won't be able to take my children to my childhood home. Even now, I can't "go home" for the weekend or during holidays. I have always lived in a house. 7 different houses to be exact. They eventually felt like home but then they became a house again and I had to readjust to a new house and make it feel like a home. 

Growing up in different places has been a struggle. Readjustment does not come naturally for me. Sometimes I wish I could have just stayed in one city, in one house, with the same community my whole life. But I know if I did that life wouldn't be the way it is today. I wouldn't be the Haley I am today. God needed me to live in Alvarado, Owensville, Benton, Crossett, Cabot, and Conway. He had a purpose for me in each of those cities. 


My locations and houses have varied over the last 20 years. But my home hasn't changed. I love the way Annie puts it

Jesus is my home. The one that will not change. The one that makes me the best [Haley]. The one that safely holds my heart.

 My location will change and my houses will continue to be different as I grow older but my home will NEVER change. I am so thankful that Jesus is my constant. That will always be enough!

perspective.

The name of the campus ministry I go to is perspective. It is so fitting because every time I go I feel like God puts things back into His perspective for me. I honestly can't remember the last time I went. It has been what seems like forever. Tonight I went and God did what He always does. He gave me His eyes for just one second.

For our worship set we sang Psalms. If I had to pick a favorite book of the Bible that would have to be it! I am reading through it right now in my quiet times. One of the songs we sang was based on Psalm 19:14

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, Oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

The "meditations of my heart" jumped out at me. Probably because I struggle with having selfishness in my heart. The things I meditate on are all about me. I wonder how to make people like me more. I dream of a future husband or a present boyfriend. I hope for life after college in the "real world". I think of what the summer will bring for me. God has much better things in mind for my heart to meditate on. Things like how to love Him more, how to serve and love His people, how to share the Gospel. I have some changing to do. I'm thankful that salvation isn't just a one time thing and then you're done but that I am getting to work it out. (Philippians 2:12)

Another song we sang was "How Great is Our God". I have sung that song so many times and to be honest I kind of hoped we would sing something different. But even though it was the millionth, billionth time for me to sing it God had something new to show me this time. I have a heart time trusting that God knows what He is doing and that His timing is perfect. That is why the meditations of my heart aren't so pleasing to him and focused so much on me and my happiness NOW. But as I sang this very familiar song the words and time is in Your hands. Beginning and the End. God not only has good timing, He holds all of it in his hands. the beginning, the end, and everything in between. 

The lost song we sang was just a chorus of His love endures forever. We sang it over and over until that truth began to sink into my heart. God's love is perfect and unconditional and everlasting. It will always be enough.

I needed tonight. God knew it. He put me where I needed to be to hear His voice. I'm thankful that He doesn't give up on me. I needed the conviction and comfort from Him tonight. 

My cup overflows.

He's still working on me.

Sunday night my family went to Owensville for a ministry ordination service. The man being ordained was over 50. He felt God leading him to preach and he was obedient. That blows my mind. I feel like younger people are the only ones who go into ministry. It's not very often that you see someone older surrendering their life to preach the Gospel. I really admire this man for being obedient and not questioning God's timing. As we were sitting in the service this verse came to mind:

And I am certain that God, who began a good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. - Philippians 1:6

I love that. Whether we are 5, 55, or 105, God still has plans and a purpose for us. He won't be finished until Jesus comes back. Our church started a series on Ecclesiastes Sunday morning called Don't Waste Your Life. I don't want to be sitting around thinking that I have done enough already, hoping that God will use someone else. I want to be mindful of the plans he has for my life to bring Him glory! 

When I was little I used to sing a song that said...

 
He's still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still working on me.

There really ought to be a sign upon the heart,
Don't judge her yet, there's an unfinished part.
But I'll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hands.

In the mirror of His Word reflections that I see
Make me wonder why He never gave up on me.
He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He's the Potter, I'm the clay.

Thank you Jesus for using people of all ages to advance Your kingdom. Thank you for your patience and your purpose that you provide us. Thank you for not giving up on us!