identity and worth.

In the last five days three of my friends have gotten engaged. In the months and weeks before that several other friends have done the same.  This engagement thing is like a disease that we all want to catch. Today I was talking to one of my non-engaged friends and we were discussing all of these recent engagements of our friends and people we went to church with or to school with. We started joking about who would be next and she said it would be me. I told her there is no way I am next. Not because I don't want to be engaged or married one day but because there is no evidence that it will happen at anytime in the near future. She then said exactly what I had been feeling: I feel left out.

We are so happy for our friends and cannot wait to be at their weddings and celebrate this next phase of life with them. But honestly, we are wondering when it will be our turn. When will we get to change our facebook relationship status, when will we get to wear a pretty ring, when will we get to buy a beautiful wedding dress, and when will we find fulfillment & satisfaction in another person.

Hopefully there will be a day when our martial status changes, our left ring finger displays a pretty jewel, and we wear the most beautiful white dress. But we will never find complete fulfillment and satisfaction in another human. Only Jesus can fully satisfy.

I don't just want a wedding and a ring. I want someone to want me. I want to be loved. I want to be known. I want to be complete. But God is reminding me that a man will never be enough to give me all that I want. God didn't design it that way. God is enough for me.  

He wants me.
Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be made holy and without fault in his eyes. - Ephesians 1:4

He loves me. 
God loved the world so much that he sent his one and only son that whoever believes in him will not die but will have everlasting life. - John 3:16

He knows me. 
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. -Psalm 139:13

He alone makes me complete.
For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. - Colossians 2:9-10

God knew that many of my friends would get engaged this week. He knew that I would struggle with putting my identity and worth in any place but Him. He knew that I would fail to trust in His plan. So God, being who He is, gave some excellent messages to some pastors that I could listen to online. (Being a pastor's kid myself, I never thought I would actually enjoy listening to sermons, I've heard what seems to be enough to last a lifetime.) Elevation Church is doing a series called Mr. & Mrs. Betterhalf. Northpoint Community Church is doing a series called The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating. The City Church is doing a series called We are Family. God knew that I would need to hear these words from Him this week. He knew all along. 

And just like He knew about the engagements of my friends and my needs for His truths as revealed in those sermons. He also knows the rest of my story. He knows the ending that I cannot see or even imagine. He is working it all out for His glory and my good. Romans 8:28 He has got this all under control. I just have to learn to trust that He knows what He is doing and that His timing is way better than my own!