my anthem.

I love Superchick! I don't think they have a song that I don't like. Their song Beauty from Pain is my very favorite. I love the message and the way God brought it into my life.

When I was in junior high my youth group went to Vertical Fest every fall in Pine Bluff. There were local bands that played in the afternoon and at night there would be more famous bands. Superchick was one of those bands. The summer before I started 9th grade I found out my family would possibly be moving soon. By the time Vertical Fest rolled around that year I knew we were moving. It was the first time I heard Beauty From Pain and I just sat there and cried. God knew that I needed the message of hope found in those lyrics. He knew I would need it in the months to come with the transition I had to make and He knew I would need it many more times in my life. 

When I find myself believing that my circumstances are horrible and it's the end of the world, when I find myself losing hope, when I can't see any good at all, I think of this song. I realize that there will be beauty from my pain and that makes it worth it! 

Beauty from Pain - Superchick

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me (at the end of me)
Tryin' to hold to what I can't see (to what I can't see)
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain 

To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory. - Isaiah 61:3

Single Servant.

I just finished reading Sacred Singleness

I got this book for Christmas. Leslie Ludy wrote it and I read When God Writes Your Love Story, which she co-wrote with her husband. It was a great book so I figured this one would be as well. I have a lot of Christian relationship books. I love to read about purity, dating, singleness and all that good stuff. 

In today's society marriage is the goal. You graduate high school, get a college degree, get married, have kids, and start your life. Not even a year ago this was my goal. My five-year plan. But God has plans of His own. I'm not giving up on marriage but I am sacrificing the desire for it to the One who knows my heart and has my very best interest in mind.

Sacred Singleness talks about living an abundant life fully sold out to God in every season of life, no matter how long it lasts. The whole book was challenging and encouraging. But the last chapter was so intense. The title is Getting Started Changing the World. I, like many others, often think I can't make a significant difference until I am older and married and living "the rest of my life". This chapter begs to differ. It gives so many practical ways to live out James 1:27- Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. 
  
The chapter walks through Matthew 25:35-40 as well which says,

For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me...I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to Me!

I was overwhelmed by the needs and ways to help in this chapter. But I couldn't just read it and do nothing. So I started praying that God would provide opportunities. That I would be open to whatever way He would choose to use me. As I was praying/journaling these things I got a facebook message about a need for donations to a cancer society. God sent me that message. I didn't even have to think twice I knew it was from Him. He was providing a way for me to make a difference today. To care for the sick, and to ultimately care for Him.

I have a lot more praying to do and many more opportunities to seek. I have comfort zones to break free from. Challenges to overcome. But I have a Father to do it all with me and for that I am so thankful!

Live.

I just finished watching The Lost Valentine. It's a Hallmark, love story movie. I loved it. So precious. this is a quote from the movie:

"I knew if he had the courage to risk dying, I had to have the courage to risk living."

I can't get that out of my head. It makes me think of Jesus. He had courage and took a risk for me. So I need to have the courage to live for Him. I love that God can use tear-jerker, love story movies to bring me closer to His heart. He really is in everything.

in this moment.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Today. Right now. In this very moment. The will of God is being played out in our lives. 

I think I've always known this but I haven't always let it really sink in. On really good days, in really fruitful seasons when everything is going "perfectly" it's easy to think about God's will being played out. Even on terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days I can be mindful that God has a plan in all of it. But what about the regular day. The season that isn't really bad but it isn't great either. The season that just is. I feel like I'm in that season right now. 

I was thinking the other night about all the ways God's will has played out in the past. Through moves that I thought would be the end of the world that turned out to be not so bad after all. Through drama that I thought would ruin my reputation and the way God brought friendships out of that. God's leading in different areas of my life. Then I started thinking about His will for the future. I thought about this summer and where He is going to send me. I thought about life after college and beyond. I trusted that His will would play out because I've seen it happen before. 

But what about this moment? God's will is happening as I type this. Even though this is a rather "blah" season God's will is still good, pleasing, and perfect. Even when I can't see it God's will is happening all around me. He has had it planned out since the beginning of time. He knows what will happen on my great days, on my bad days, and on every day in between. In this moment I am in the will of my Father and that's EXACTLY where I want to be.