Matthew 7:7

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you."

I have asked, I have sought, and I have knocked on the door for opportunities to share Jesus. But sometimes I forget to keep doing these things. I figure God heard me the first time and He will send opportunities when He's ready but He wants us to KEEP asking, seeking, knocking. So that is what I am going to do. 

Just today I began to put this verse into practice. I prayed multiple times for God to provide opportunities to share His love and multiple times He provided. I had opportunities to provide a smile, hold open a door, pray for the people I passed on my way to class, encourage a friend, share the Gospel with old classmates, share Scripture with a girl who is seeking, help feed a person who is hungry. I am not saying any of this to brag. Every day of my life should look like this but honestly these days are few and far between. I don't ask, I don't seek, and I don't knock nearly as often as I should.

In the last couple days God has been reminding me that His purpose for my life is so simple. He made me to know Him and to make Him known. Why do I have to make that so complicated? 

Asking, Seeking, and Knocking. Trusting that He will answer, reveal, and open. 

human.

I read a blog on Thanksgiving from To Write Love on Her Arms: http://www.twloha.com/blog/
I really enjoyed it and would suggest that you read it. One of the points it made that I loved was that we all deserve the space to be human. Most of the time I want to see completely put together. I want everyone to believe that all is right with my world. Things could be so much worse and I have so much that I feel my problems are insignificant and should not be brought up. but since I am human this means I will NOT have it all together. there will be days when everything falls apart and it's alright to be real and honest on those days. it's ok to show people the broken pieces in my life. All of the broken, messed up pieces make up a beautiful story. Without them, I would not be complete. So if we are all human that must mean that others are going through rough times too, times when they may seem to have it all together on the outside but on the inside it's all crumbling down. We need to be sensitive and compassionate to the needs of others. I am so bad about getting caught up in my own worries and fears and issues that I sometimes forget to care about what's going on in other people's lives. This is something I am praying will change. I'm tired of being selfish and believing that I am the only one who suffers. There are people all around me everyday - friends, family, strangers - that are experiencing dark times and I have the light of the world living inside me that I need to show them. So instead of sitting around having a pity party, building up walls and trying to be strong, I am ready to be honest about where I am, to be thankful for where I've been realizing that it was all a part of God's purpose, to break down the walls that I have been building up for far to long, and to try to climb over the walls other people are building, to show the compassion and care that Jesus did. I know it will be a long process but you've got to start somewhere so why not here.

thankful.

"Be thankful...but be careful that you don't become so enamored of God's good gifts that you fail to worship the giver." AW Tozer

I love that quote! Thanksgiving is a great holiday to sit back and enjoy food and family and all our blessings. We should be thankful more than just once a year. I am going to make a thankful list and I'll probably even share it on the blog. But I don't want to be so wrapped up in all the gifts that I forget about the One who so graciously gave. 

I am THANKFUL for...

• For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

• God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. - 2 Samuel 22:31
• Family - Mom & Dad, Hannah & Hope, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, extended family
• Friends - Colossians 1:3- "I thank my God every time I remember you." From Fort Worth to Owensville to Benton to Crossett to Cabot to Conway and everywhere in between. I am thankful for the difference you made in my life.
• Love - the ability to Love God & Love People.
• My Bible
• journals - my way of seeing how far God has brought me
• Education 
• Church Camp
• A house
• Hot showers
• A comfy bed
• Technology
• Music
• Use of all my senses - the ability to see, hear, taste, smell, and touch...I daily take these things for granted
• Little children
• teenagers
• my car
• make-up
• hair straightners
• too many clothes and shoes
• my health
• my swimming pool
• memories
• Peace -John 14:27
• Church - Owensville Baptist Church, Trinity Baptist Church, First Baptist Church Crossett, Mount Carmel Baptist Church, and Crosspoint Baptist Church
• that I don't have to worry -Philippians 4:6
• Freedom
• Abundant Life -John 10:10
• food
• books and blogs
• Wisdom - James 1:5
• my sweet Sunday School teachers I've had through the years
• teachers
• online sermons
• laughter
• joy
• nature
• sunsets
• fellowship
• pictures
• opportunites
• God's perfect plan for me - Jeremiah 29:11
• My summer job
• having everything I need 
• struggles that God uses to draw me closer to Him
• grace & mercy
• forgiveness
• second chances
• getting mail
• family game nights
• baking
• dancing
• most of all for God who provides all these blessings!!!! - James 1:17

there are so many more things I could be and am thankful for but I think this list is long enough for today. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

she prays one day she'll find someone to need her.

last week I was feeling sorry for myself and lonely so I started praying for God to provide friendship for me. but then I realized that was kind of selfish. so I also prayed that God would show me people to love on and to be a friend to. I prayed to be needed.

He answered my prayer in the past few days with three different friends. I was needed. But I did not feel good enough. Yes, I could give them my time, my listening ears, prayers, and even food but I couldn't fix their problem.

I was feeling guilty about this today and God reminded me of this verse:

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

His grace is sufficient and it is Christ working through me to help these friends. He is the ultimate fixer-upper. So while I can't fix their problems and make their world perfect, I serve a God who can. 

ZOEgirl - Scream

Psalm 40

I waited and waited and waited for the Lord. At last He looked. Finally He listened.

Six years ago I was preparing to leave my home. The place I loved. The people that I was growing up with. The church were I felt loved and welcomed. The school where I fit in, where I knew who I was. The friends that changed my life forever. During that transition I read Psalm 40 and found this verse. I knew the days ahead would be difficult but I didn't really know how difficult they would be. Leaving Crossett was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life but it was something I had no control over. Most days I felt like Cabot was the worst place on Earth. I just wanted to go "home". I wanted my identity back. 

It took a long time, a lot of tears, a lot of reliving memories, a lot of prayer, a lot of sadness and depression to get through. I waited for what felt like forever but at last God looked and listened and provided. Cabot brought new friends, a new home, and new experiences. Without that chapter in my life I wouldn't be who I am today. But six years ago I didn't know that, I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I knew was that I had to give up all I knew for something I didn't want. 

I feel like I am back in that spot again. The spot of waiting and waiting and waiting. The place of not knowing what the future holds. I am a planner and want to know what is going to happen tomorrow but God is reminded me that He already has it all planned out. He sees. He listens. And one day He will reveal to me why this season had to happen. It may take 6 years but that's ok because God is Sovereign, He can do whatever He wants. 

Jesus, thank you for being with me as I wait and wait and wait. Thank you for seeing me, for taking time to look my way. Thank you for listening to every cry of my heart, to every last broken piece. Thank you for using the past to teach me about the present. Thank you that the present moments will make me stronger in the future.  

joy will come.

some days I feel hopeless. I feel like the circumstances surrounding me will never go away. that things will never be as good as they once were. on those days I am reminded that joy WILL come. maybe not today, maybe not next week, maybe not even next year, but it WILL come. I'm thankful for that promise today. 
Joy will come video click this link to see the video

Joy will come - Desperation Band

Joy will come in the morning
Riding on the wings of the dawn
I know
Joy will come after mourning
As surely as You are God

Joy will come believe
Joy will come joy will come

Joy will come like the harvest
Reaping for tears that we sow
I know
Joy will run to the farthest place
Surely as You are God

What is this hope I feel
It's helping
What is this peace beyond
Understanding
You fix the broken heart
There's healing in Your wings

What is this whisper small
I'm hearing
So far above it all
It's speaking
You're still the sovereign Lord
There's healing in Your wings 

this is a blessing

For the past three weeks I have missed Girl's Bible Study. Each week there has been a different reason or excuse for not going. Tonight I didn't have one and I knew I needed to go. We are studying the book of Luke so we can learn to walk as Jesus walked. This week we were reading in chapter 6. The main focus of our discussion tonight was on verses 20-21 which say

God blesses you who are poor, for the kingdom of God is yours. God blesses you who are hungry now, for you will be satisfied. God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh.

The beatitudes are simply Jesus' way of telling us to hold on. As Lynzie said it is hope in a nutshell. We also reflected on James 1:2-4

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

 So let it grow! I love that. I don't know about you, but I want to be perfect and complete. I can't get to that point if I don't endure trials. Why do I so often try to get rid of or hide the bad times in my life? Why don't I see them as blessings? as opportunities for growth? Jesus is teaching me more and more each day and I am so thankful.
Tonight Jordan said, "The more you suffer, the more you're filled." I want to be filled! 


Thank you Jesus for girl's bible study. Thank you for teaching me new things. Help me to always remember that struggles are the most blessed times in my life because they draw me closer and closer to You. Teach me to let it grow! I love you!

 

sunsets of hope

I love sunsets. To me, they are one of God's most beautiful creations. As I was leaving my night class I caught the final few moments of the sunset tonight, it was breath-taking. I literally just stopped for a minute to watch it through the bare trees. Oranges, pinks, and grays...LOVED it! sometimes I think God paints them just for me. they are little glimmers of hope. I rushed to my car to drive into it and watch it set but by the time I started driving it was dark. 

Monday I got a text message from my precious friend Brooke. This summer her Pap passed away. He was an amazing man of God and I had the privilege of praying with him in his last months of life here on earth. That memory will always be precious to me. He sat and prayed for me and his whole family when he was the one that needed prayer the most. He was so selfless and giving. Nanny, Brooke's grandmother, is struggling with being alone. She had Pap by her side for so many years. I pray for her often but this weekend I decided to make her a card. I can't imagine what she is going through and felt like she needed some encouragement. I put the card in the mail on Saturday so she got the card Monday, the same day that she had to go the gravesite because Pap's tombstone was being delivered. I had no idea but God did. He has such perfect timing. I was amazed! It completely made my day =)
Monday night I planned to study for my two tests on Tuesday. That evening I got a text from one friend and a phone call from another. It had been almost a month since I had seen either one of them and I got to see both of them that night. We went to a campus ministry together which is always good but Monday a guest speaker spoke about brokenness. BROKENNESS. another sign of God's perfect timing. I'm in this stage of being broken. I was reminded that God often has to break us to use us. God, I'm ready to be used! I was really stressed on Monday and had several people remind me that they cared and were praying for me. They will never know how much I needed that. After the campus ministry, Barrie, Lindsey, Alyssa, and I went to 3 Flamingos for half priced yogurt. It was a much needed evening, so different that what I planned, but God's plans are always better.  
Today I had a fifteen page paper due, a quiz, and two tests. can we say STRESSED?! but guess what, I survived!! God is good and faithful. I got to celebrate Emily's last night of being a teenager with her tonight and enjoyed Chinese food with my family. Great end to a not so great day. I also bought Dave Barne's Christmas album and am starting to get in the Christmas spirit =) 

Sunsets are beautiful but they don't last long. The past few days in my life have had some beautiful moments, much more beautiful than the days before. But tonight I was reflecting on these recent blessings and I began to wonder if they would be like the sunset I saw tonight. Will they fade as quickly as they come? Maybe. And tonight I am ok with that because I got my glimmers of hope in a dark season. God provided those special moments to remind me of His love and His goodness. If I have to wait awhile before the next ones come that's ok because I know God is faithful and He will paint me another beautiful sunset.

He understands.

one thing I'm learning more and more about God is that He understands me. He understands my heart and brokenness even when I don't understand myself. this weekend He reminded me that He knows what's going on with me and He cares. this post will probably seem scattered but these are the things God has revealed to me this weekend.

"sometimes God does not give you what you think you need from other people because He wants you to get it from Him." - Christine Caine

I love the song By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North. "why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?" I feel like that's what God is asking me. Why am I seeking for fulfillment and life in everything else? I have Jesus and He IS enough.

Matthew 6:33-34 (MSG) "Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." I love every bit of this scripture. God has it all taken care of. 

MercyMe has a song out right now called Beautiful. If you haven't heard it you should definitely take time to listen to it. Part of the lyrics say this "You are more than what's hurting you tonight. You are treasured. You are sacred. You are His." I want to soak up this truth and live in it.

I've been sick this weekend so I listened to some online campuses and sermons today since I missed being at my own church. It's crazy to me how God brought me to certain blogs and people to follow on twitter which led me to these churches and the sermons I heard tonight. It's something only God could do. What I thought was random, He had a purpose for.

Crosspoint Church in Tennessee is one of the churches I listened to. They are doing a series right now called This is our God. The two sermons I heard were about God's faithfulness and His goodness. Here are my notes from those sermons...

God is faithful!
 Lamentations 3
I am the man who has seen affliction
   by the rod of the LORD’s wrath.
² He has driven me away and made me walk
   in darkness rather than light;
³ indeed, he has turned his hand against me
   again and again, all day long.

 ⁴ He has made my skin and my flesh grow old
   and has broken my bones.
⁵ He has besieged me and surrounded me
   with bitterness and hardship.
⁶ He has made me dwell in darkness
   like those long dead.

 ⁷ He has walled me in so I cannot escape;
   he has weighed me down with chains.
⁸ Even when I call out or cry for help,
   he shuts out my prayer.
⁹ He has barred my way with blocks of stone;
   he has made my paths crooked.

 ¹⁰ Like a bear lying in wait,
   like a lion in hiding,
¹¹ he dragged me from the path and mangled me
   and left me without help.
¹² He drew his bow
   and made me the target for his arrows.

 ¹³ He pierced my heart
   with arrows from his quiver.
¹⁴ I became the laughingstock of all my people;
   they mock me in song all day long.
¹⁵ He has filled me with bitter herbs
   and given me gall to drink.

 ¹⁶ He has broken my teeth with gravel;
   he has trampled me in the dust.
¹⁷ I have been deprived of peace;
   I have forgotten what prosperity is.
¹⁸ So I say, “My splendor is gone
   and all that I had hoped from the LORD.”

 ¹⁹ I remember my affliction and my wandering,
   the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰ I well remember them,
   and my soul is downcast within me.
²¹ Yet this I call to mind
   and therefore I have hope:

 ²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.” 

faithfulness- steadfast in affection or allegiance.

no one will be faithful all the time.

God is faithful and will not let you down.

because God is faithful...

You can trust that your past is your past.

1 John 1:9 - But if we confess our sins to Him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

Trust Him with your present trouble. 

Put your trust in His identity (who He is - unchanging) instead of in His activity (your circumstances) **this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear tonight. I have been trusting in His activity for way too long.

God is most powerfully present when He is most apparently absent.

Matthew 11:28-29 - Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Trust in Him with your future plans.

Lamentations 3:24

The Lord is everything I need so I'm going to wait on Him.

Each day we can trust God or ourselves/everything around us.

Every other basis of hope besides God will let us down.

What would I do if I was absolutely confident that God is with me? 

God is good!

Exodus 33

For every misconception you have about God there will be a corresponding consequence. God in His goodness, gives to others in a way that is not limited by what the recipients deserve but constantly going beyond it. 

In response to God's goodness we should be grateful. 

All of life is a gift, we don't deserve any of it.

In response to His goodness, we should trust Him.

Thank you Jesus for internet sermons and for understanding me all the time. Thank you for being faithful and good. Let me put my hope in your identity instead of your activity. I love you!

keep singing.

a few years ago my family moved to Cabot. i hated it. i wanted to go back "home" so badly. but God is good and He kept me singing. i feel like i'm back to that point again and i've gotta keep singing... 

Keep Singing- MercyMe

Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through

I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing

Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing

Rams.

Tonight in youth group we will be talking about thankfulness. Our scripture is Genesis 22, the story of Abraham and Issac. I've heard this story all my life. Its a beautiful picture of obedience, faith, trust, and testing. I'm amazed at the sacrifice Abraham was willing to make because of his fear of the Lord. These are all awesome lessons but today in relation to thankfulness God showed me something different. 
I often see God as provider, which He always is. I'm more quick to be thankful for the rams in my life. For the things God provides, for the times of deliverance, and rescue, and the times when I get what I want or what I think I deserve. 
But in this season of life I feel like God is not providing the rams. Rams of less stress, easy school work, best friends, a potential husband, motivation to be healthier, time for a job, more money, a clear plan for the future... All of these things would provide God the Deliverer but God is teaching me about some of His other characteristics.
He is all-knowing. 
He is faithful.
He is my only hope.
He is my joy.
He is my strength.
He is Emmanuel. 
He is good.
So today I am thankful for the times when God doesn't provide the ram because it is in those moments that I get to know and love more of Him.

worry.

Wednesday night Cofer preached on worry and stress in youth. I needed to hear the message but felt like it was more for the students than for me. This semester was flying by and was fairly easy in the beginning but now I feel like it's all piling up and it's stressing me out. I have huge papers and really important projects to get done in a short amount of time. I'm really overwhelmed. 
Today has just been one of those days where I am worried about everything under the sun - school, grades, friendships, relationships, doing the right thing, the future, etc. After my classes I decided I needed to take a walk so I went to the Salem Trail. As soon as I put my headphones on the music that filled my hears was exactly what I needed to hear. I was soaking up God's love and faithfulness and then I saw some squirrels enjoying their acorns. As I watched them eat God reminded me of the scripture that says just as He takes care of the flowers of the field, the birds of the air, the fish of the sea, and the squirrels on Salem Trail, how much more will He take care of me. 
Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes and reminding me of your faithful provision. Teach me not to worry. Thank you for being in everyday moments and for the squirrels on Salem Trail =)