Psalm 40

I waited and waited and waited for the Lord. At last He looked. Finally He listened.

Six years ago I was preparing to leave my home. The place I loved. The people that I was growing up with. The church were I felt loved and welcomed. The school where I fit in, where I knew who I was. The friends that changed my life forever. During that transition I read Psalm 40 and found this verse. I knew the days ahead would be difficult but I didn't really know how difficult they would be. Leaving Crossett was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life but it was something I had no control over. Most days I felt like Cabot was the worst place on Earth. I just wanted to go "home". I wanted my identity back. 

It took a long time, a lot of tears, a lot of reliving memories, a lot of prayer, a lot of sadness and depression to get through. I waited for what felt like forever but at last God looked and listened and provided. Cabot brought new friends, a new home, and new experiences. Without that chapter in my life I wouldn't be who I am today. But six years ago I didn't know that, I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I knew was that I had to give up all I knew for something I didn't want. 

I feel like I am back in that spot again. The spot of waiting and waiting and waiting. The place of not knowing what the future holds. I am a planner and want to know what is going to happen tomorrow but God is reminded me that He already has it all planned out. He sees. He listens. And one day He will reveal to me why this season had to happen. It may take 6 years but that's ok because God is Sovereign, He can do whatever He wants. 

Jesus, thank you for being with me as I wait and wait and wait. Thank you for seeing me, for taking time to look my way. Thank you for listening to every cry of my heart, to every last broken piece. Thank you for using the past to teach me about the present. Thank you that the present moments will make me stronger in the future.