new directions.

I have set down to blog quite a few times this past week. I wanted to recap 2010 so I could look back and remember but I either wrote too much or focused a lot on the negative. So I didn't post any of that. 2010 was a year of growth -- day by day. I have spent my whole life in church living from event to camp to retreat to worship service. All of those things brought me closer to Christ. But this past year for the first time my relationship with Jesus grew day by day. I am so thankful for that. 

Summer is my favorite season. For the past 10 years I have spent at least one week of my summer at a church camp --Spring Lake, Beech Springs, Siloam Springs, Super Summer Arkansas, XFUGE, Cold Springs, Journey Camp. I love church camp. I have been on the camper and on the counselor end and both hold such a special place in my heart. Last summer as I worked for a month at Cold Springs I kept thinking that I didn't want to leave that I wanted to be a camp for the rest of my life. My plan was to work at Cold Springs again this summer. That plan kind of fell through because the same job I have had for the past two summers will not be available. My heart broke. I loved spending my summer at camp. But I realized there are other camps so I researched. I "accidently" found a camp that is about 700 miles away from home. It is a camp just for girls and it is Christian-based. When I first found it I was so excited and just wanted to sign up right then. I requested information and received a brochure and a DVD. I was even more excited. It's been a few months since I discovered this camp and my heart is not as excited. Part of me is afraid of sacrifices, afraid of what I will miss out on here, afraid of not being where God wants me to be. Part of me feels so called to go to the ends of the Earth, but I don't see how that is possible this summer. Today I looked up a place that hires summer missionaries in Texas. I have been to this ministry before and enjoyed and I know that God could use me there. 

I have struggled with what to during summer 2011 a lot in the past few months. I felt like summer was the best time for ministry and the best time to make a difference. But here in the past few days, as I have spent time with Jesus and watched Passion sessions I am realizing that because of my emphasis on summer I am missing opportunities now. Summer is still 6 months away. I don't want to waste these next 6 months worrying about where God wants me come summer. I am trusting that He will send me to just the right place whether it is 7 miles away or 700. I will continue to pray about it and ask that if you read this, that you will pray for me too. I don't want to miss any more opportunities.

God is placing desires on my heart to change the world. These desires scare me. They are so different than what I am used to. I am learning that being a Christian is so much more than sitting in a pew on Sunday. It is so much more than just doing church. I don't know what the next steps look like for me. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't know all of God's plan and that scares me. I want to know all the details and be able to plan ahead but I have to learn to trust that God knows and let that be enough. 2011 is a year full of opportunity and I don't want to miss out.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. - Ephesians 3:20 NKJV